Facing (Some) Freelancing Fears — Part 2
Welcome back to Part 2 of Facing (Some) Freelancing Fears. It’s a continuation of part 1, which you can find here.
Apologies for the delay, I hope this helps you out if you’re thinking of going, or are already traversing this path.
Marcus Hits Me Back…
Hi Darren
Thanks for replying so quickly.
You’re definitely right about getting comfortable, I had a 2 year contract that ended a while ago and I got pretty lazy with that job. I stopped pushing my art skills and business development during that period, so that when it came time to start freelancing full time again, it was almost like beginning again. It is definitely something I need to be mindful of this time around.
I also agree with the savings, 6 months of income reserve is definitely something I will aim for. I recently bought an eBook from Illustration Island which recommended 3 months, but 6 months would be best given my circumstances. I’ve got my finances in order, so my savings are steadily climbing. Definitely going out a lot less, drawing more and saving more money in the process.
Regarding my fears, I think it comes from a few things, I’m not totally sure.
Maybe it’s my passive nature? I wasn’t particularly good at contact sports like football, because I would feel bad for knocking someone down and would literally stop to help them back up. It landed me on the bench a lot. I guess it’s why I got into golf.
When I was young, I was almost always alone, so I guess I like solitude. That solitude is perhaps what makes me fearful of getting into the whole commercial art scene I suppose. I fear my work is not good enough, that its not original. I dont have a style. I have always envied those with such an individual style. My art has been mostly self taught and it’s a lonely world to live in where I’m my only critic and my only client.
I recently went to book publisher to see if I could get some work. They loved my stuff, and I need to make a portfolio for them. So I have created some art to put into it…but not enough for a full folio, and I don’t know if I can motivate myself to continue adding to it.
It’s my fear sabotaging me again. It’s so full on, I don’t feel like I deserve that kind of chance — I’m not established, I don’t know enough about art, I feel like I have just fluked my way to this point. It feels like I don’t know if I have done things the right way…people like my pictures and I don’t know why, so I don’t know if I can produce more good work. I see other artists emerging slowly, having exhibitions, going to schools…I have done none of this.
Do you know what I mean by a fluke? Like I have no real training to fall back on. I went to Julian Ashton’s art school for 3 months, I found it really hard because it was so slow and it was very much all about drawing things perfect which I got bored with. I appreciate Ashton’s, but it just wasn’t for me.
Marcus
My Reply…
Hi again Marcus,
No problems about the reply…you sound a lot like me earlier in my career. So, let me try to address each point you bring up.
Firstly, I think it’s great that you’re reaching out to others, trying to learn, reading books and teaching yourself. I think it’s important to recognise that, for people like us, a lot of this comes from an underlying feeling of “I don’t know what I am doing!”
You never quite feel that you’re worth what you are charging, even if it’s not that much, because you haven’t been schooled in art, it’s like you’re not worthy, so it makes you eternally curious and you grab onto and remember things other artists say, snippets of information, here and there to somehow build up your understanding and confidence on how things are supposed to work.
As a self taught artist myself, I completely understand where you are coming from. We simply don’t have the voices of our teacher’s to help guide our path early in our careers, we don’t have the luxury of asking ourselves what they would do in this or that situation.
The truth is, it’s a blessing in disguise and as long as you are mindful that you will always feel like you don’t know enough, it will serve you well in your career. I’ve been through and felt everything you listed, so find some comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. 7 years ago, I somehow lucked out and someone started paying me $300 a week ($14,400 p.a. — no pay for time off or breaks…all of it invariable went to more art books hehe) to work as a concept artist. Not much money but I wasn’t going to complain as I’ve never been trained! I have even less schooling than your 3 months, so you’re already ahead of me 
The first 3 years of my career, I still felt everything was a fluke despite the fact that I was by that stage a senior concept artist and then an art director presiding over other artists who did have qualifications. Was it scary? Did I feel like I didn’t deserve it? Was it a fluke? I felt all those things. I did things one way, and people seemed to like it, but I didn’t know if it was the right way or not.
In my spare time, I read interviews with successful artists, listen to them talking on mp3 interviews and watched a ton of training DVDs. The underlying thread I noticed, was that everyone, I mean EVERY single artists, proceeds with their work in a slightly different way, everyone works their way because it works for them and it allows them to end up with a good end result. That alone, the knowledge that there IS no singular “Right Way” was and still is empowering for me and should be for other artists too.
You do things one way, and it works but you’re not sure if it’s the right way? Let me tell you right now, not even knowing how you do your art, it’s the right way, because the end result is the thing that matters. You could be the first person to drag their dick in the sand to come up with their art and it would be the right way, because you end up with the art you want and need.
So you help people up who you’ve knocked down? Hell, you sound like a good individual mate, the world doesn’t need you or me to knock someone else down to bring myself up all the time. There is of course an element of competition out there in the freelancing world, but that doesn’t mean you need to be an aggressive asshole. I (and I’d venture to say the majority of commercial artists) don’t feel the need to stomp on other people to get jobs. I simply go out there, say my piece, try my best to convince someone that they need my skills and convey that I am a pleasant enough person to deal with, so that people won’t hessitate to do business with me. If someone likes and trusts you (and can afford you!), assuming you can do good work, that’s all someone needs to do business.
I do differ in some ways from you regarding to competitiveness though. I am a highly competitive dude, I always have been, but I used to HATE competition, just like you. If someone else liked the same girl, I’d pass. If someone wanted to go for the same job, I’d pass. I was competitive, just as I believe most people are competitive, but I was also deathly afraid of failure. At some stage, you have to just sit down and go, okay, so if I do fail…what’s the worst that will happen? The world won’t end, you’ll pick yourself up from rejection and go to the next thing, and the next thing after that. I learnt to do that earlier in my career, but it’s a skill, and skills can be built, it’s no natural talent. I hated public speaking, so I did more of it until I wasn’t scared of it anymore, same thing.
If it will make you feel any better, I’m still plenty fearful about things, but the difference is that I’ve been through all this enough times to know it will end okay, it’s how you manage fear that is the deciding factor between quitting and carrying on.
Taking it a step further, I actually think fear is good to an extent, it means that we will not go into something unprepared. It only becomes a problem when it stops us from doing something, that’s when you need to rein in fear and recognise that most of what we fear is inexplicable and really…not that bad if we were to screw up. People put too much stock into — oh if I fail my life will be over. My take is to just do it, like Nike says.
Style? Do you have weaknesses? Yes? Then you have style. I once heard that our style is determined by our weaknesses and limitations. With my art, I have this crazy wonky-ness to all of it, it has become recognisable as my style, but you know where it began? It began with me being crap at copying someone’s facial features accurately. It was always a bit crooked, so one day, instead of trying to get everything perfect, I said screw it and made it even more wonky — I had more fun, it captured people’s likeness and I stopped worrying about whether I had style or not. It grew out of my perceived limitations and yours will too, just give it time and don’t pay it any mind. Draw your influences from far and wide so that no one particular artist influences you to become a clone.
Passive natures, I don’t really believe in (and I could be wrong mind you!), I think just about everyone has a line in the sand, that once stepped over will force someone to become pro-active, trouble is, you need to find out where that line is. Someone says they’re a pacifist — you put a gun to their daughter’s forehead, you’ll see someone coming to end you. It’s all in recognising where our battle line is, and we all decide for ourselves where to place this line and how to act once we cross it.
Final point — you’re an introvert, you’re quiet, you prefer your own company and you’re happiest being when you’re alone and arting.
Me too buddy, but that hasn’t stopped me from speaking in front of large audiences, teaching art at university with passion, it hasn’t stopped me from writing in my blog and getting my opinon out there, nor has it stopped me from writing for some of the most well known digital creative magazines on the shelves, it hasn’t stopped me from wanting to drive my art beyond the pale of the common artist and it hasn’t stopped me from knowing that I matter and that I can cause a difference in people’s lives…just as you can. That introversion of yours shouldn’t stop you from doing any of those things either, all you need to do is to believe that you can do them all and much much more.
If you have no firm goal or direction for yourself, anything outside your comfort zone is scary and unreachable. When you are able to train yourself to look beyond all that, to the dream you have for your life, and when you want to achieve that dream with all your heart, obstacles will crumble, you’ll become competitive, you’ll become extroverted, you’ll push past limits you didn’t even realise were limits.
But you have to start by knowing what you want, and doing everything to make that the sole driving force behind your life.
Okay, real final point this time — read some books on extraordinary people, I do all the time, revs me up, pushing me on, makes me feel like I can do it all despite people’s assertions to be realistic. You and I have grand goals for our lives, screw being realistic.
Daz
Final Note from Marcus…
Hi Darren,
Thanks for that, I am so grateful for your detailed response, I see you care deeply for your art. I don’t really have much to say now, just taking it all in. I feel like shaking your hand lol. I’m going to do some drawing.
Thanks again, Marcus.
Well, that wraps up the advice I had for Marcus. Just keep in mind, this is my own point of view, there are plenty of others, so seek them out and continue to grow.
I sincerely hope this has helped some of you out there and answered some questions for you.
If you guys or girls care to share any of your own experiences or point of view about this topic, please do so beneath, I’m sure many people would benefit from it
Catch you on the upside!
Daz
Facing (Some) Freelancing Fears — Part 1
Frequently, when I am asked questions about illustration or freelancing, I have already blogged about it or answered it in my FAQ, so I generally direct people to those resources whenever I can.
There are of course still plenty of questions that I have not answered and when one of these pops up, I will usually take the time to write a detailed answer from my perspective. Then with the permission of the questioner, I will post the response for my readers, because sharing is caring and makes us collectively, a more well informed segment of the workforce, thus increasing our cumulative sway in business.
Marcus got in touch with me through my Facebook account (add me here) and has been following my work and blog. He asked me some things that touched me on a personal level and I felt that I needed to answer them, mostly for Marcus, but a little for me as well.
The post primarily delves into certain aspects of the mentality needed for freelancing, how to face fears, feeling like a fraud, style, things of that nature, not so much on the business side of things — hence the “Some” in the title.
As the second part of my response is long, I have decided to break this into two separate blog posts.
I sincerely hope you get something out of it, enjoy…
The Question
Hi Darren,
I realise we have never spoken before, so firstly I must say that I admire your passion for art, and how much drive you obviously have. Your art and words inspire me. So if I may, I feel the need to ask you a few things if you had the time? If you don’t reply that’s fine as I understand you must be busy, but I would greatly appreciate some advice.
My background is that for the past 3 years I have been paid for creative work such as illustration and graphic design. Currently I am a part-time graphic artist at a magazine. This new job is almost perfect for me at this point in time because my future goal is to freelance solely in illustration. The part-time work gives me steady income as well as time to work on my own art and whatever freelance work I pick up.
I feel that I have things holding me back from jumping into the illustration world completely.
Being a graphic artist comes easy to me but it is not my passion. I love drawing but I feel I keep sabotaging myself. It’s like I’m afraid to compete, I’m not really a very competitive person…I feel that I lack the game-face that many illustrators/commercial artists seem to have. I think the lack of confidence in myself is obvious. It’s so annoying.
I know im still at the very start of my artistic journey and perhaps I will probably learn this eventually, but I was wondering if you had any insights? Perhaps you have covered something similar to this in previous blogs so feel free to just direct me to it.
Thanks in advance.
Marcus
My Response
Hi Marcus,
Thanks for getting in touch and the kind words! Yep, art is definitely a large part of my life, I’m glad it’s the same for you also.
It sounds like you’re in a good place right now, part time work is a great stepping stone that is often the basis for most illustrators/freelancers, but I also feel it is important at some stage, to plan your exit once you have enough experience and an income reserve — typically 3–6 months to cover costs, I prefer 6 months myself as I am a cautious person.
The main problem you have to be mindful of when you’re working part time, is that it’s very easy to get into a comfort trap, where you always have an “out” with your part time job “Oh, it’s okay that I’m not getting much work, I have my part time job to fall back on.”
This mindset reduces the immediacy of the problem of finding more work, which means you’ll always be sailing at half mast. Your senses simply aren’t tuned into a fight for survival mode.
When we are in this mental space of surviving, we are capable of drastic changes and we will either do what is necessary to survive and live or we will crash and find out we didn’t have what it took this time around. We feel alive when we are doing this, because we are acting as captains of our own destiny, at the same time it can be scary because we’re not sure we can sail the ship.
This is a necessary mindset for freelancing successfully, and it is very difficult to embrace if you’re still being paid consistently by someone else as an employee.
Before I advise you on the rest of your email…what do you fear? Why don’t you like to compete? Why do you feel you lack confidence? Get back to me with these answers and we can keep chatting…
To be Continued…
That’s all for now, short and sweet!
As usual, if you have any feedback, comments or advice you feel is pertinent to this topic, please leave it in the comments section below. And if you think that this information will help any aspiring freelancers, please share the link…sharing is caring, help spread the knowledge.
Stay tuned for part 2 in a couple of days…until then, stay hungry.
D-Man
Dreams and Suicide
It is almost 11pm on a Thursday.
It is another cold Melbourne night and I sit here again in my warm little home studio at my keyboard compelled to write while the tree outside my window plays tag with the wind.
I wanted to write now while my emotions are still fresh.
I have spent the last two hours relaxing from my hectic work schedule, watching a relatively old film — Dead Poet’s Society, which I have been told many times is fantastic, but never got around to viewing until tonight.
Unabashedly speaking, I cried while watching it.
Why you need to become more than just a creative.
I tend to think a lack of business skills on the part of creatives, devalues the entire industry more than any other factor.
Because creatives have no idea how to charge, no idea how to establish their worth in the minds of clients and thus no commercial back bone, we collectively suffer as an industry.
Here is a lament I often hear from other creative types:
“Clients are so dumb! They completely undervalue my work!”
Wrong chump.
Some new sketches =)
I did a couple of sketches today, one was for a student, the other just to record the process and practice some tonal work.
Enjoy!
Here is the YouTube video of the last one:
General Concept Art Advice
Being in a privileged position of being able to help guide other people in various ways is a humbling experience.
When someone of their own free will comes to me with a question that will potentially shape a large part of their life or help them to choose a path to travel, I consider it a real honor. So I do my best to give them an authentic point of view that is my own, as opposed to a lukewarm limp wristed politically correct answer. It may grate some people, but I am unapologetic about it.
That isn’t to say I tell them they have to do anything I talk about — that they must do this or else they will fall into a pit of acid and go to hell. That’s not what I’m about.
Ideation Process: Part 2
Now, up to this point, we’ve been thinking of the sketches as a personal tool, that is, an external representation of a myriad of internal ideas in an attempt to organise free flowing thoughts into a structured pattern for our own personal use.
We have part of the design in our minds and this can often cause us to stop short of creating sketches that mean anything to anyone but ourselves.
This situation would be fine if the work we are doing is only for ourselves, however, most often the art we doing isn’t just for fun, it’s because someone is paying us to deliver.
Ideation Process: Part 1
Creating artwork is a wonderful gift, a pleasure that I cherish and indulge in on a daily basis because it is both my favourite past time and because it is also my profession.
For myself (and undoubtedly many of you reading this) there is no comparable experience of diving stylus first into an alternate reality, indulging our coolest ideas and dancing the tango with plain old creativity.
Rejuvenate Old Ideas…
Coming up with new ideas is part of our job as concept artists, but every now and then, it really does pay to look back at your old sketches to mine them for gold.
I did this recently and found some stuff that I liked, but the quality level no longer indicates my skill progression over the years. This I find is particularly true of my personal portfolio too.
The strength of your portfolio is essentially the key to how much work and what your earning potential will be like, so it always pays to put your best foot forward whenever you can.
Art Tips: Facial Proportions…
Hey guys,
Just wanted to give some quick art tips to those who are trying to figure out facial proportions — that is, where do all the facial landmarks tend to sit on an average face? The nose, the eyes, the lips, etc.
One way to go about placing these elements is to guess, but that’s not a very accurate method and so your results will be mixed.
A more consistent method is to understand some basic foundational points about the construction of the face from a forward facing perspective.
So what I will do, is to take a random image from the Internet, and to deconstruct the average placement of the major features.
